


All that is bright and beautiful

by afflatussolace



Series: where you go fate will surely follow [9]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: AU where alphinaud dies and the WOL quits, Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lalafell Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), it's depressing and has no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afflatussolace/pseuds/afflatussolace
Summary: It’s a beautiful day, and yet you’re not here to see itReuploaded from myblog. For the ffxivwrite2020 event held on tumblr.
Relationships: Alphinaud Leveilleur/Original Character(s), Alphinaud Leveilleur/Warrior of Light
Series: where you go fate will surely follow [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971088
Kudos: 8





	All that is bright and beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #09 - Lush  
>  _"growing luxuriantly"_

  
  


Spring was coming, a time where flowers and fruits alike thrived and grew to their fullest and most beautiful. She could still hear the chatter of the Gridanians in her ear, and the passing words of reverence to Nophica from the botanists as they prepared for yet another season of plantiful harvest.

As if in chorus, the birds of the forest sang in celebration, summoning the full might of the sun that shone high above horizon. It’s light was opulent, a gift to the trees and the grass that flourished without a single care around her.

The boughs were dancing, swaying to the tune of her barely beating heart.

And all Illya could wonder was when she’d come to resent the earth so much.

It was tradition by this point for her to turn to mother nature in her time of need. She had once thought herself to be a true devotee to the grace of the Elementals, a white mage and botanist both, someone who believed in the power of healing the earth could provide. 

And for a long, long time did she believe her faith to be impossible to waver. No matter how many times she’d have to soothe the wrath of the elementals, no matter how many storms she weathered through, there was always the sincere hope of a sunnier day ahead.

A trouble mind could be cleared by the gentle breeze, an aching heart could be soothed by the sound of the leaves and flowing rivers. And when all else failed, she would find herself laying under the protective canopy of the trees above her, watching and giving thanks to the world around her for giving her such beauty to comfort her.

And yet.. she’s found the magic of the earth to be waning, as does all hope of her own recovery.

She’s done nothing but lay down for the past several weeks, staring blankly up at the sky as time slipped her by unaware. No matter how many hours she’d spend outside, and no matter the number of flowers she’d picked and pressed up desperately to her nostrils, it does nothing to alleviate the pain. 

Who was it that truly died that day? 

If nothing else, it should have been her. She deserved it.. and perhaps even then, such a death would be too swift and merciful for one of her incompetence. The sounds of magitek echoes, the cries and screams repeatedly play in her head like a broken record. And at the center of it all, nothing but the image of his last moments filled her vision, through hazy lethargy and a cracked consciousness. 

Despite the warning of the scions, he’d charged forth.. rushed into a confrontation that everyone knew he was wholly unprepared for. And the Warrior of Light, for all the heroism and strength she had been known for, naively believed in him.. and in that naivety was powerless to stop his gruesome fate. 

She’d expanded all the mana she could muster upon his body, held him in her arms, as crimson red began to spill and stain her once pure white madical coat. She prayed with all her heart, pouring her magicks into the palms of her hands until her very soul almost tore apart from exertion, believed in the conviction and faith she held in the twelve even until the very end and beyond… even after his body turned cold.

She truly did believe. She truly held such blind, foolish faith that was paid for with the ultimate price.

On the day she’d watch the person she loved more than anything else in the world slip away forever, her heart and entire being died alongside with him on that very bloodied battleground, upon that same soil from whence cherry blossoms would take root and bloom. She wouldn’t be surprised, if ten summers from then, a great tree sprung forth after taking sustenance from his blood, like a cruel leech. 

His blood had been warm, as was the sun upon her skin now. If she focused well enough, she could hear his voice in the wind and in the chirps of the songbirds in the trees. Even the grass beneath her felt like needles, pinpricks that cut at her skin like razors. The colors of her surroundings which she once admired so begin to bleed together into murky hues, and the rays of light that had once been her salvation now blinded her and burned her skin. 

How could the day be so beautiful? How can nature continue to flourish? How could the world rejoice at its own abundance when it has lost all meaning?

Do they not know? Does nobody truly care?

Whilst she was all alone, stuck in the grey, cold confines of a past she will never move on from, the world will continue to spin around her, uncaring of all of her sorrows, pain and regrets. For once she’d wished for a cliche, for the darkening of clouds and the pouring of rain. She wanted to see the world torn asunder, for the trees to be ripped from the ground and for the flowers to whither and be reduced to ash. 

At the very least then, it wouldn’t feel as if the world was making a mockery out of her - laughing at her loss of purpose. 

The earth was but a mute spectator to misery, and Illya’s eyes darken in disillusion as she finally accepts her insignificance in the world - a world that wasn’t worth fighting for at the very end.

It was she who died that day, and she who would never live to see another beautiful sunrise.


End file.
